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11/5/03: Of many things the kid acquired after 33 days in S?o Paulo...

A distinct appreciation for the drivers on Avenida Paulista. They merely blast through the streets with reckless indifference, as opposed to the drivers in Morumbi who really are deliberately trying to kill me. As for the motorcycle messengers, it won?t be long until I?m deliberately trying to kill them.

A reluctant tolerance for Brazilian beer. Tonight I bought 12 cans of something called Cintra Cerveja Pilsen for R$7.45. That works out to 62 centavos per can. Since, technically, I?m still buying things with US dollars, these cans of Cintra convert to 21.7 cents each. They taste like it too. Still, I?m having a delightful fantasy of being in a crowded bar and exclaiming ?Only 20 cents a can? I?m buying everyone here the next one!?

A decrease in my knowledge of Portuguese by -17%. Everyone here speaks to me in English to be polite, even if they can?t actually speak English. However, after many hours of researching arcane grammar rules for my lesson plans, I?m now fully fluent in English. That wasn?t the case when I got here. While applying for one of my jobs, I was given a skills test that I arrogantly rushed through and scored 56 out of 60. The girl applying with me, a Brazilian, scored 58 (for the record, it was a test of British English).

Work that I actually really sincerely immensely enjoy. Teaching English is incredibly satisfying. The labor in it, however, is the hassle of getting the schedules of four schools all competing for limited time before work, after work, and lunch times to line up, tight corporate schedules, and constant cancellations. One appointment, a student who I call ?the ghost,? never shows up but never cancels, which amounts to me getting paid to take a 3-hour bus ride to the edge of the city and back. It?s a hugely disorganized process that inevitably leaves me pissing someone off, and it comes and goes easily, so make sure you pick the right director to piss off. But once in class, it?s a really fascinating cultural ambassadorship. On the one hand, being an American is being of the most naked group in the world. Everyone already has the full vocabulary of pop culture references, however outdated (nobody in Chicago cares about Michael Jordan and haven?t for a while). But then other things aren?t so easily explained - the rules of baseball or that, yes there is plenty of poverty to go around in the US of A. I made up some listening comprehension exercises with my Lee Hazelwood CDs (?cuz there?s actually amazing country music out there if you actually look for it). I had the unique opportunity to explain to a dumbfounded group what it?s like to be in weather so cold that the snot in your nose freezes.

The sight of the ocean for the 3rd through 270th time in my life. Always feels like I've always been there.

The best expression I?ve ever heard - Mala sem al?a. It is used to describe a really annoying, difficult person. It literally means ?bag without handles? as in, ?imagine having to carry your luggage through the airport without any handles ? kinda like talking to this guy!?

The most confusing expression I?ve ever heard. To start, when I ask people for things using the most direct Portuguese words for what I would normally say in English ? i.e., ?I would like a beer, please? ?Can you get me another beer?? ? my unfortunate gringospeak always requires that I repeat myself two or three times before I?m understood. Not so with this expression - ?\Voc? me v??. I say ?Voc? me v? mais uma cerveja? and the next beer comes right out. But translated to English it makes absolutely no sense ? it?s something like ?Can you see me with one more beer?? Don?t think about it, just say it.

The nickname ?Al Capone?. This was from the owner of a lanchonette near the hotel I stayed at. He pronounced it ?Owl Key Pony.? He was so cool that I frequented his place every night until I saw a cockroach the size of my thumb crawl across one of the menus.

My first sighting of the repentista. That?s him in the photo on your left. Repentistas are (sort of) pairs of buskers who switch off little rhyming raps to each other accompanied by tambourines. As music, it?s beautifully rhythmic and the verbal exchanges are, if you can understand their Northeastern dialect, really hilarious. Interestingly, it all bears striking resemblances to Hip Hop ? rapping, battling, playing the dozens. This particular repentista was the subject of the amazing film Saudade do Futuro (which I?ve mentioned here in the past). When it played at the Siskel Center in Chicago last year it actually had an effect on my decision to travel to Brazil and to choose S?o Paulo specifically. On my first afternoon after arriving, not a friend around for thousands of miles, I wandered through the Praca de Se and immediately recognized this poor old busker from a movie seen a year before in Chicago. Unbelievable. I wanted to say ?Your famous! I saw you in Chicago!? but couldn?t come up with the words.

Things to acquire in November?

Some way to explain the pronunciation of simple past tense verbs. How do we know how to pronounce ?liked,? ?repeated,? and ?slept? the way we do? This is very difficult to explain without ?I don?t know - I just know.? How do exactly do we distinguish between ?grey day? and ?grade A? or ?that?s tough? and ?that stuff.? These are the little koans that English throws one?s way. Good thing I?m finally fluent in it.

Juice mastery (or at least a good start). Easily the best part of having my own apartment in Brazil is having a little laboratory for the invention of exciting new juices and smoothies. A R$10 trip to the Sunday fruit market keeps one well in juice for the rest of the week. I still know very little about what I?ve bought until I try it, but the advice I?ve been following is that you can?t go wrong as long as you mix a fruit with strawberry and banana. That?s all well and good except that it only makes your creation taste like strawberry and banana. Now it?s time to get more adventurous. One day, I?ll have my very own a?a? blend perfected, and a well-mixed batch of that fruit will send you out smiling better than even the best morning coffee.

A much better Internet situation. I?m still using cybercafes, whose prices vary wildly around here, hence this blog?s erratic updating. Basically, this post was my lunch for this afternoon. Bom apetite!

And for your Internet situation...

All the president's votes

John Cage online [via dublog]

How the Americans lost their country

Legacy: Immigration and emmigration [via dangerousMeta]

An info clearinghouse for Nude Protests [via drMenlo]

posted by jeremy @ 3:25 PM